Escapades
by MarySedai
Summary: Doctor drabble. Series 3 with Martha. The Doctor does strange things, and Martha has yet to find our what they are.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, well i thought I'd try drabbles instead of stories. I get little thoughts in my head and so I thought I'd write them down. I have a few ideas for the next escapade of the Doctor, but if anyone wants to suggest anything then feel free to do so!

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Martha awoke from her new bedroom in the TARDIS. She yawned deeply and slowly crept out of bed and walked towards the bedroom door. Her dressing gown was hung up there and she swung it round to wrap it around herself.

Upon opening the door and walking to the console room, she could hear the Doctors mumbling voice coming from somewhere. She was about to speak when she heard a phrase that was recognisable.

"Oh, you're my special girl"

'What the?' Thought Martha.

Moving closer she could see that the Doctor was still in his pyjamas and dressing gown…And he was still asleep.

He was squatting down in the far side of the console room, right beside the wall, his face squashed up beside it and one hand placed upon it. His hand then began to stroke the wall and slowly he began to turn his head towards it.

Martha watched with a disgusted expression. The Doctor was now kissing the wall.

"Doctor!"

At the sound of his name, the Doctor quickly jolted up out of his TARDIS-loving moment and leapt up. So quickly that he lost all balance and fell backward. A disgruntled "OW!" followed.

Martha couldn't help but laugh.

The Doctor got back on his feet and re-adjusted himself, smiling at Martha.

"Ahem, I err, was just making sure the TARDIS was functioning…properly" Martha looked at the Doctor with a raised eyebrow.

"..Did I say anything…err…strange just now?" He asked her, pointing to the wall at which he was just squatting at.

Martha smirked.

"Strange doesn't cover it, Doctor." She turned to walk away. "I'll see you later, I'm off to bed again"

"Humans" The Doctor whispered. He waited until Martha had wandered off into her room and shut the door before edging back to the TARDIS wall. He still kept his eyes on that spot should she come back out again. He stuck out his tongue and licked the wall of his ship, who made it obvious that she didn't like it by making a sharp groan.

The Doctor winced and quickly stepped away from the wall and stood at the console.

"Ok, I'm sorry" he said quickly.


	2. The Smoothie Maker

**Well, this one was a suggestion from a friend. So I thought I'd have go writing it up. Thanks for those who have reviewed I really appreciate it!**

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing DW :(

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They say simple things please simple minds. Not in the Doctors case. His mind is so complex with so many memories and knowledge…yet when it comes to simple technologies such as Martha's smoothie maker, it 'wow's him more than seeing a dying stars' gravity fold in on itself to form a black hole.

Martha had brought the smoothie maker on the TARDIS after the Doctor had accepted her as his new permanent companion. She had been moving some stuff onto the ship and the Doctor, being the curious being he is, decided to go through her things.

After returning from her home with another box of her belongings, Martha found that a box in her room had been opened. Her eyes narrowed and she placed the new box with the others. She began to wonder what had been taken when she heard the noise of the smoothie maker. She rolled her eyes.

'I should have known' she thought.

She exited her room and followed the sound of the smoothie maker…which was followed by an insane burst of laughter.

Upon entering the kitchen of the TARDIS, the Doctor stood at the main marble bench with the smoothie maker plugged in.

"Doctor what are you doing with that" she asked

The Doctor turned around to face her and she was met with a cheeky grin. The site plainly said it all. His blue suit was covered in a pinky-purple coloured liquid, as well as his face. The smoothie he had 'attempted' to make was dripping off his chin and all the way down his chest and trousers, then finally to the floor.

"I love this machine!" he cried, his eyes wide like a naughty child's. "What's it called?"

Martha stood there in a state of bewilderment. Here he was, the Doctor, the most intelligent being she had ever met and he was asking her what the smoothie maker was called?

"Well, it's a smoothie maker…thought you had figured that out judging by the ingredients on your suit"

The Doctor looked down then back up again.

"Oh that, I just decided to throw anything together" and he beamed at Martha once more.

"Without the lid?" Martha asked

"There's a lid?"

"Yes, to stop it going everywhere…" Martha looked around the room…the smoothie had splattered across the walls and the benches. "The TARDIS won't be too pleased with this mess"

"Errr, yeah, don't worry I'll clean that up" said the Doctor looking around the kitchen.

"I'd clean your self first, Doctor. Then MY smoothie maker" Martha said rather disgruntled and walked off.

The Doctor stood alone in the kitchen. 'I really should get this cleaned' he thought. Then he looked over at the smoothie again and thought for a moment.

"Oh what the heck" he said and gathered more fruit and yogurt.

He switched on the maker and the laughter began once more.


	3. Of Whiskey and Cuddle Bum

**Hello all! I had this random idea pop into my brain so I thought I'd best write it down. Thanks to those of you who have reviewed, they are much loved!**

**And yeah, still don't own anything.

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The loud thumping beat of the music was what pushed Martha to her limits. She had been having trouble sleeping for days now…the last thing she wanted was anymore noise while she was trying to finally get some rest.

She had decided to leave the Doctor to get drunk on his own. While cleaning out the wardrobe in the TARDIS, they had come across some whiskey that looked like it had been there almost as long as the Doctor had and he got drinking almost straight away. After deciding that it was in her best interests to not consume the age-old whiskey, Martha retreated to her bedroom.

The music got louder and Martha was getting even more disgruntled.

She finally forced her tired body out of bed and opened the door, which led to one of the many cool corridors within the TARDIS.

The Doctors room was situated directly to the right of Martha's. The door was slightly ajar and through the gap, Martha could see the Doctor dancing…on his bed. He held a whiskey bottle to his mouth like a microphone and he was _singing. _

Martha couldn't help but snigger at how pathetic he looked, his usual blue jacket was off, and his tie was round his head but covered one eye. His white shirt was loose at the top revealing his neck and a little bit of chest hair, while his trousers were now hung over his headboard. Luckily, Martha thought, he still had his boxers on, but looked a little too tight, and didn't leave much to ones imagination.

Martha snapped herself out of her stare at the Doctors crotch to concentrate on the song he was singing along to.

'Oh God' she thought.

Electric Six.

Gay Bar.

"..I've got something to put in you, at the Gay Bar, Gay Bar, Gay Bar!"

At that point, Martha pushed the door fully open and stood with her arms folded, leaning against its frame.

It wasn't until after the Doctor had taken a long swig of the liquor that he noticed his companion.

With a look of drunken confusion, he bent down a little and narrowed his eyes at Martha, his mouth slightly agape.

"Martha?" he asked, slurring the name.

"Yes Doctor you idiot, you know I was trying to get some sleep!"

"What was that, sorry?" The Doctor strained his ears over the music.

Martha rolled her eyes and walked over to the CD player and turned the music off.

"Bye, bye" said the Doctor gently, waving a hand at the player.

"Doctor, how much of that…that foul drink have you had?"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe one bottle…two…seven...the bottles are over there" the Doctor said pointing to the other side of his bed. Martha walked over and her eyes widened.

"Eight, Doctor. There's eight bottles here. Seriously this could harm you!"

"Relax, cuddle bum! I'm fine…remember, I'm alien, I can take more alcomafol than you humans can" the Doctor said with a smile, his eyes drooping with every second that passed.

"Cuddle bum?" asked Martha "and yeah right, well, better get you into bed then"

Martha took the bottle off the Doctor, placed it on his bedside table and pulled open his bed sheets.

"Oh but…nooo…I'm not tired, come on Martha lets dance!" the Doctor jumped down from the bed and pulled Martha by her waist away from his bed, spun her around and began to dance with her.

"Doctor, you're in no state to dance"

"Oh I am, I know all the moves! And did you like my underwear? Look…"

The Doctor stepped back from Martha a little so he could show her his underwear. They were blue with a comical snake on the front, with the phrase 'Trouser Snake' underneath it.

"Oh..oh..ohhh, erm, nice Doctor lovely" stuttered Martha, feeling her cheeks get hotter than usual.

The Doctor beamed at her and she was suddenly aware of how close he was to her. He leaned forward, his lips almost touching hers.

And then he passed out.

Martha struggled to keep him from falling on the floor and managed to drag him onto his bed.

After tucking him in he began to snore. Loudly.

"Great, first the music now this"

Martha stormed out the room, slamming the door loudly, but not even the Time Lord could be awoken by that


	4. Steamy!

**Hey guys, finally another Escapade. This one is for Valdemar as she suggested that the Doctor enjoy a little bathroom fun **

**Thanks to the reviews, you can all have a cookie **

**Disclaimer: Same as ever ¬¬**

After a tough day travelling about time and space battling aliens and crazy future humans, it seemed like a good idea for a 21st century human to relax in any way possible. But sometimes upon the Tardis it became somewhat of a challenge. The contents of the ship were enormous and Martha often found herself opening a door to which she though she knew what was behind it; only to find something completely different. Whether it was the Tardis playing tricks on her she could not be sure, but the Doctor always managed to find his way around; even when his ship refused to co-operate. But then again, thought Martha, he had after all been on this ship for centuries, so was bound to know her tricks.

Thinking of the Doctor, his companion began to wonder where he had gotten to. He hadn't been in the console room for about half an hour and Martha knew he hardly slept.

She decided not to bother herself thinking about him right now. He could take care of himself on his own ship.

Martha was pleased to find that the bathroom was easily located this time. When she walked in, steam filled the space so much Martha could barely see far in front of her.

She squinted, trying to get a better view. Eventually she could see the edge of the Jacuzzi and smiled. It was just what she was after. The tub was already bubbling away…no doubt the cause of the overwhelming amount of steam and Martha assumed the Tardis was aware of her need to relax and unwind, so took the liberty of starting off the Jacuzzi.

Martha stripped herself of her bathrobe and felt her way into the hot bubbling tub.

Just as she was beginning to relax, a familiar voice reached her ears…and it was very close by.

"Nice to feel you Miss Jones"

"Doctor?!?" she cried and felt her heart leap like a startled rabbit. She quickly scanned the steam around her and slowly the Doctors face came into view; a grin etched upon his handsome features.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking and checking to make sure the bathroom is empty before you barge in here?" he said mock accusingly.

"I never thought you'd be in here! You hardly ever are!" Martha squealed. This was embarrassing; here she was completely naked with the Doctor probably completely naked too. As if he knew what she was thinking, the Doctor grinned almost seductively and swam backwards to his side of the tub and he became invisible once more.

Martha calmed herself and breathed deeply. After a while she realised how quiet it was except for the noise of the rather soothing bubbles.

"Doctor?" she asked.

No answer. So she moved forwards in his direction and suddenly a blue light emitted from where the Doctors face should be. Eventually the steam began to clear and Martha could soon make out the Doctor, Sonic Screwdriver in hand.

His grin was that of pure bliss as he continued to clear away steam and then placed the screwdriver back on the floor with his clothes.

"Don't you just love bubbles?" he asked; half staring at Martha. Then extra loud bubbles came to the surface of the water and both the Doctor and his companion looked down.

"And that wasn't just from the Jacuzzi!" he added with mischief written all over his face.

"Oh Doctor that is just gross! I'm getting out" Martha exclaimed turning to leave.

"Well then just remember that the steam has gone…I will see more than you want me to when you get out, cos I'ma not moving! Unless you don't mind me seeing more?" the Doctor said teasingly, making Martha turn to look at him once again only to be met with a wink.

"Fine." She said "I'll wait till your done"

"Could be a while" The Doctor said plainly

"How long is a while?"

"How long is a piece of string?"

'Great' thought Martha 'He's in one of those moods…this is gonna be long night'

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**So let me know what you think, and I'll probably continue this scene in the next chappy. Rating may go to M, not sure yet though.**


	5. Steamy! Part 2

**Ok guys I know it's been a while and it really shows in my writing. Talk about being rusty! I said at the last chapter I would continue the Jacuzzi story and so I have but it was a bit hard for me to get the imagination going again after so much time. Hopefully I'll be getting back into the swing of things properly, cause Ive missed writing my fics. **

**Anyways, let me know how bad it is or how good it is and if you want me write an escapade then please ask. I need more ideas and the goal of these little tales is to make the reader laugh and I need YOU to help me do that :)**

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Three hours had gone by and neither the Doctor nor Martha had decided to leave the still hot and slightly steamy Jacuzzi. Martha wasn't ready to give the Doctor that satisfaction; it meant that he had won.

And so they sat there, wrinkling like a prune; not that the Doctor cared; he had been amusing himself with bubbles and floating on his back while Martha, who now stared blankly with her arms folded became more bored by the minute.

The Doctor noticed Martha's almost tortured expression and stood at full length in the Jacuzzi.

''Well…I'm finished. See you in the Console room in what? Half an hour?''

Martha moved her eyes up at him, arms still folded and trying to control her rage that he just suddenly decides that he's finished

''Fine'' she said turning her eyes away once more.

The Doctor climbed out the bath and deliberately, Martha guessed, stretched facing her, exposing everything and then turned around to bend and touch his toes.

Martha tutted and turned her back fully away from him. After a while she heard the door to the bathroom close. Convinced she was now alone she finally climbed out and began to dry herself off.

Suddenly, something smacked her on the behind and she yelped partly from shock and partly from pain. Turning around all she could see through the building steam was a set of white teeth showing that the Doctor was grinning at his wonderful trick.

''Doctor what the hell!'' she cried struggling to believe that he was doing this.

''Ah Martha, relax! I'm only having a bit fun, you know? That word that describes you when you're happy and free to do as you please?''

''I'm well aware of what the word means Doctor'' Martha snapped. ''where's my bathrobe?''

''Ahh where is it indeed'' the Doctor said

''You hid it didn't you?''

He nodded

Martha made a noise that was somewhere between a scream and a cry and stormed off out the bathroom, furious that she would now have to walk the cold halls of the Tardis wet and naked.

Just then, the Doctor ran after her with his towel and again attempted to smack her bare backside with it.

''Oh Doctor, no!'' screamed Martha and ran as fast as she could to get away from the Pixie that was the Doctor.

To anyone who might have walked in at that moment, had it been possible, would have walked straight back out if not stunned by seeing two very naked, very wet people running through a space ship.

After running for about fifteen minutes, Martha found her room and entered, locking the door behind her. She panted heavily with her back against the cool metal door. The Doctor didn't have his sonic screwdriver with him and so Martha would get at least some bit of peace. The thought made her laugh. It had been fun really, she just had difficulty letting herself go in fear she would do something she would regret. But now the Doctors' fun was over, at least for now, as he stood naked and alone out in the corridors of his ship, which, Martha thought would not be happy about it at all.

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An hour had passed and now Martha had dressed. She now stood in the Console room waiting for the Doctor but he wasn't there. Perhaps she had hurt him in some way, for not allowing to have some fun in his life that he always longed for.

Eventually, he appeared wearing his usual suit, hands in pockets and head dipped slightly.

''Glad to see you're dressed again Doctor'' Martha said trying to get his humour to come out.

He didn't smile, instead he started to fiddle with the buttons and handles on the Console. Feeling bad, Martha walked over to him.

''Doctor I'm sorry. It's not that I don't like to have fun, you know that, you just caught me at a wrong time.''

He turned and looked at her, a smile returning to his lips.

''I know, I'll just have to get you at the right time''

Martha smiled and bit her bottom lip mischievously. For a moment the Doctor noticed that look in her eyes and then felt a hard slap on his backside. Before he knew it Martha was running away shouting ''catch me if you can!''

''Oooh you cheeky…''

He ran after her, the usual big grin returning to light up his face and ran after his companion.

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Through the maze of corridors they ran until a door swung open apparently on its own, and both Martha and the Doctor went inside. Before realising that she was in the bathroom, Martha tried to stop herself from falling, but it was too late and toppled straight into the bubbling Jacuzzi. The Doctor realised what had happened but he too was too late and went in after Martha. The pair wiped water from their eyes and for a moment was silent until they both began to laugh uncontrollably. They held each other close while they laughed until realising how close they really were. The Doctor stared as longingly at Martha's lips as she did at his entire face. The tension between them built until a large, powerful bubble rose to the surface between them, popping and then splashing them in the face.

They collected their senses and laughed once more. When they had calmed down, the Doctor and Martha climbed out and walked back to their rooms wet once again, but this time, not naked


	6. Lingerie

**Hello again! I just want to say a big big thank you to those who reviewed. Sorry I didnt send personal replies but I'm busy plus I have to use college internet atm. This just popped into my head this afternoon but it's a bit short. Applogies if its not that good; i could really do with a hand in ideas for doctor escapades and I'll probably use Donna soon.**

**Anyways let me know what you think and still sadly i own nothing Doctor Who-ish apart from three lil Daleks, sonic screwdriver and a Doctor doll :D**

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A month had passed since the incident in the bathroom and suddenly it seemed life on board the Tardis was very serious indeed. The Doctor and Martha had seen many planets and alien races that needed saving and sometimes the Doctor would come face to face with old foes and friends he thought he had lost.

And so now the Tardis was quiet, silly Doctor free, and Martha thought it would now be safe to at least explore the ship alone without worry. However that worry was sneaking up on her again, as she walked along the quiet cold corridors she was becoming familiar with. The Doctor had again disappeared in his ship and Martha knew he wasn't in a bad mood. So it could only mean one thing. He was up to something.

All Martha could do was to keep a sharp eye out for the mad Cheshire cat-like grin. But even then, the Doctor was likely to sneak up on her when she least expected it.

At last she came to the wardrobe room. This was a room she had been in but never seen all of. It appeared to continue on and on but she guessed it was no surprise for an alien over 900 years old to have so many clothes.

Most of it she found was men's clothing that looked awful, but she was pleased when she found that the Doctor also kept a women's section too-perhaps from previous assistants.

Whilst looking amongst these things, something moved between the t-shirts and the underwear. It looked like clothes but Martha couldn't be sure. It was still again and no sound could be heard apart from the soft tapping of Martha's shoes on the hard metal grid flooring.

She smiled as she found something she liked and modelled it against her body in front of the full-length mirror that stood to her right.

She suddenly heard footsteps and then a soft humming to music. It was definitely a mans voice, she thought. 'The Doctor, he's in here with me'

''Doctor?'' she called

A giggle was all she got in reply

''Doctor what are you doing? This isn't funny''

Apparently, the Doctor thought it was.

Martha decided to follow where the sounds were coming from but the Doctor just seemed to, calmly, while singing, avoid her.

''Doctor pl…'' Before she could finish her sentence the Doctor sprung out from behind a row of old coats and grabbed Martha, causing her to scream. The Doctor carried on laughing.

''You really need to stop doing this sort of…'' she trailed off, finally taking in what the Doctor was wearing; He had somehow managed to fit into a pair of pale pink hold ups with transparent stilettos, a pink balcony bra and a pink feather boa. From what Martha could tell his face looked powdered, his lips shining and eye lashes defined.

''Are you wearing make-up?''

''You don't like the undergarments?'' he asked.

''Maybe for me but um, I really don't think its you''

''Maybe I should be seeing you wear them instead'' replied the cross-dressed Doctor winking at her.

''Not after you've…been in them thank you''

The Doctor frowned ''I'm clean! I swear!''

Martha walked away from the ghastly sight ''It's still gross Doctor''

''Fine'' he said with a huffed tone. ''They look better on me any day''

He stuck his nose in the air and stormed off, eventually turning it into a skip, while he spun the feather boa around and disappeared into the mass of clothes.

Martha hoped he was off to try on something more masculine.


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